Bob Franken




With the Biden victory in Arizona, aka McCain’s Revenge, the extent of the Donald Trump election rejection is now documented. Never mind his desperate fantasies of a legal tap dance to victory — can you imagine Donald Trump tap dancing? — there’s no way to soft shoe over the reality of a five million popular vote loss to Joe Biden and, more importantly, Biden’s 306 electoral college accumulation. That’s what the Trumpster collected last time around, which he called a “landslide.”
No matter how many thousand of his MAGA supporters crowded the streets in a show of support for the delusion that he couldn’t possibly lose the election; he did. And on Jan. 20, one way or the other, Trump will be extracted from the White House.
Then what? We know what President Biden will be doing. He’ll be following a really bad act and trying to rebuild a country that was wrecked by the former president.
But what about that former president? Besides trying to stay ahead of his legal problems, stay out of jail and avoid financial ruin, what will he doing during his forced Mara Lago phase? Perhaps he will rename it Elba Lago. Will Melania Trump follow him to Florida? She perfected her enigma act when she was first lady, and there’s really no telling what she will do or where she will go in her afterlife.
But what mischief will Donald Trump get into once he doesn’t have the power to sabotage the transition? What will he do when he’s not meeting with his attorneys? Speaking of attorneys, will Rudy Giuliani continue as his lead lawyer, or will Trump opt for someone who is not as loopy?

How will ex-President Trump plot his triumphal return as POTUS in 2024? Will he be so discredited by then that it won’t be possible? In any case, he will need to contrive how to follow the two pursuits that he cares about most in life: making money and getting attention. Will he be satisfied with doing 1-800 ads on television, hawking Trump-branded products? He will certainly do that. Will there be a ghost-written memoir? Will he make highly paid speeches to supplement his dwindling fortune?
Will he go whole hog with his Biden heckle hustle and actually start his own news network? If so, what will it be called? Yes, I know Trump News Network, TNN, is likely. But that’s so obvious. He may choose another name like Conspiracy News Network, CNN. Nah. That won’t happen. How about Grievance News Network, GNN? You can bet that it won’t be Fake News Network. FNN is too much like FNC, Fox News, which is currently on the Trump snit list.
Speaking of which, could Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity or Laura Ingraham be persuaded to come over from Fox when he can’t afford to pay them anywhere near what they make now? Bill O’Reilly is available.
As for President Biden, he will certainly provide plenty of material to mock. First of all, he may be chief executive, but he’s still open-mouth, insert-foot Joe Biden. Not only that, cleaning up the Trumpian mess will be uh, messy, as in politically fraught.
It will be easy to second-guess the dreary steps the new administration will have to take to suppress the coronavirus and return us to a new normal, which will not be much like the old normal. For example, Biden has been invited to throw out the first pitch of the Washington Nationals season. But that assumes there will be another season for Major League Baseball.
Will the Republicans play ball with the administration, particularly if they hold control of the Senate? If Donald Trump is still in control of the party and exercising what could be called “Trump’s Revenge,” it could be even less likely.

© 2020 Bob Franken
Distributed by King Features Syndicate, Inc.

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