Bob Franken

King Features Column

(The usual disclaimer: Because of the deal with the syndicator, this column appears here a week after its newspaper release)


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So now Mitt Romney is charging that there is a “vast left-wing conspiracy” to discredit him. That’s how he put it on a conservative radio program the other day.

He obviously was mimicking the claim years ago by then-first lady Hillary Clinton that a “vast right-wing conspiracy” was out to sabotage her husband’s presidency.

Bill Clinton was doing a pretty good job at that himself, but the conspiracies she and Mr. Romney describe are real. They’re also exaggerated. They are not vast, they’re half-vast.

Dopey though such pronouncements can be, they are relatively well thought out when compared to some of the other rhetoric we get these days.

On the liberal side, we witness the clumsiness of a Hilary Rosen and her now-infamous ASSERTION that housewife Ann Romney “had never worked a day in her life.” The Romneys milked that one so much that Mrs. Romney herself was overheard calling the controversy a “birthday gift.”

But Hilary Rosen doesn’t hold a birthday candle to the ultra-conservatives. As usual, they swept the latest competition for the Insanely Demagogic Invective of the Times award, the coveted IDIOT prize.

This time, it wasn’t Newt Gingrich who captured top dishonors. He’s pretty much out of the running, even though he doesn’t admit it. We have a tie though, between Allen West and Ted Nugent.

West IS Rep. West,. He’s A Republican from Florida, but he speaks for the entirety of Cuckoo Land. He sure did when he declared that in Congress, “I believe there’s about 78 to 81 members of the Democratic Party that are members of the Communist Party.”

And here we thought Joe McCarthy was dead. In spite of the ruckus, West isn’t backing down, demonstrating that, like McCarthy, he doesn’t have shame either.

However, when it comes to standing his ground, he meets his match in 1970s pop-music rock star and present extremistrock star Ted Nugent harranguing at the National Rifle Association convention. Who knew that by “Heavy Metal” he meant guns? In any care, he was firing away: “If Barack Obama becomes president in November again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year.”

Granted for the NRA, that’s pablum. But what he said next was nutty even for this crowd: “We need to ride into that battlefield and chop their heads off in November.” Was that a threat? The Secret Service briefly got involved, as if it wasn’t otherwise occupied, but quickly closed the investigation into what Nugent described, in his usual understated way, as the “preposterous, outrageous, deceitful, dishonest claim that I threatened anyone’s life.”

Overlooking his redundancy, At least he didn’t wimp and and moan that he “misspoke.” “Misspoke” is one of the most pathetic words in our vocabulary.

Speaking of mealy-mouthed language; when Democrats demanded Romney repudiate Nugent’s invective, all he could muster up wasa campaign spokesperson to say “everybody needs to be civil.”

Let’s remember that Romney is Etch A Sketching a thin line. He is once again trying to contrive a persona that appeals to both independent moderates and his party-base immoderates.

Never mind that the fiery rhetoric from fromWest Nugent and others proves they are downright anti-USA. They clearly want to replace the United States of America with the Incited States.

We don’t need right-wing or left-wing conspiracies to bring this country down. Vast or half vast. All we really need are careless people like these two guys. Tearing this country apart becomes real easy if we continue to pay any attention whatsoever to IDIOTs like them.

© 2012 Bob Franken

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